Why don't you flow ....its your nature

One can flow within and outside. In the connectedness of surroundings with awareness when flowing happens it brings joy. This joy is of knowing and accepting everything. Good & Bad, Beautiful & Ugly, Sad & Happy & so on.. nothing matters except temporary expressions arising out of it with knowing the vastness of being into it. Life looks more like an engagement while you are flowing..you are everyday engaging yourself into something knowingly but you are not attached to it. As you are flowing your engagement and events associated to it are taking place in its own rhythm and space. This flow guides your engagements, drive your events and makes you feel you are bigger than them. Everything is changing coming and going but you are flowing…there is stillness in your flow because you are connected to the bigger space, universe, nature, inconsistency, your own vibrations, experiences…. it’s a parallel force that flows within you..

Feminine Wisdom -Flow of Energy

Feminine Wisdom is nothing more than listening to our inner voice, be ye man or woman. The Goddess energy is very powerful now and it is time that we utilize this energy to improve our lives. Everyone (this includes men) is comprised of male and female energy and until balance is achieved, one side will dominate. Male energy is on the right side of our bodies and is represented by the sun. It is electric, active, and giving. Female energy is on our left side and is represented by the moon. It is magnetic, receptive, and creative. Concepts or ideas are conceived on the female side and brought to fruition - into the physical world - by our male side.

The Goddess energy has been suppressed on this planet for eons. Over time women have been treated as property, second class citizens and have been abused physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Gloria Stienman's push for equality of the sexes has propelled women forward in the work place, politically, and allowed for women to experience greater freedom in general but a disservice was also done. Some women who chose to stay home and raise their family felt inept because they were not contributing to society. Women burned bras, wore pants, became workaholics, all to prove that they were as worthy as men. In reality what happened is that many women embraced their male energy while suppressing their female energy.

Women used to outlive men by eight years because men had the "stressful jobs" but now we have almost caught up because stress-related disorders are on the rise for women. Wow, we really showed them didn't we? I have been watching the Goddess energy awaken and have found it very fascinating. "New age" and the secular world have begun to develop and facilitate classes, workshops, support groups all for women. Women over 40, women who have been abused, women who have an eating disorder, women who are indigent and the list goes on and on. I am not against the support that is being given, I just feel that we missed the bigger picture and I would call that picture Feminine Wisdom.

Feminine Wisdom is the allowing of the feminine energy to flow freely through our being and to be expressed in whatever manner it chooses. This means that men and women should be permitted to base decisions on intuition alone. Individuals who have jobs that require them to make quick decisions often go by what their "gut" tells them because sometimes you can not have all of the facts - they are using their intuition. I feel that intuition should be used and accepted in the workplace.

Feminine Wisdom to me also encompasses compassion, empathy and nurturing qualities. These are traits that men and women both share. Unfortunately our male energy has a way of making these qualities seem unimportant. Most work environments do not support the feminine energy, but the time has come for that to change. I believe that when we all embrace the Goddess within, our entire world will transform for the better. I know so many women and men who have embraced their feminine side and I admire each of them.

The world admired Princess Di and Mother Theresa - why? For the very qualities I listed above. They embodied their female side and allowed the energy to flow out of their male side to accomplish world work. People to this day toss flowers on memorials to Princess Di and shrines have been built, but this is not using wisdom. What should be done is the continuance of Di's and Mother Theresa's work with the poor, homeless and afflicted. Workshops and classes need to be directed to both men and women. People need to learn that embracing one's feminine side does not make one a wimp or weakling. Our feminine side is very strong - this is how the Goddess has been able to tolerate the neglect she has received for the last few centuries.

Our world requires change if it is going to survive. I am talking about the planet herself and also mankind. The destitute conditions of our planet and our intolerance of one another are sure signs that the time has arrived for each of use to embrace our Goddess within.

SYNTHETIC SISTERHOOD

Women and feminine aspect, by nature is collaborative, inclusive and connected. Sisterhood is about being together for each other. However, consumer world has created this Synthetic Sisterhood that has influenced not only our Gender identity but our collective outlook. The Industry has created this consumer based sisterhood where men and women are identifying themselves with xyz clan because of the products they are using. This is nowhere related to the political, social and economical persspectieve. On top of that now days there is a focus on Male emotions. Products are promoting emotional man and Power Woman. This is again crating a new wave of disparity between two genders and two aspects as male and female within that are complimentity to each other. The change is required to discover originality of each gender. However the lifestyle driven and consumerism driven society is influencing our minds and relation with self. Children are exposed to such consumer based Gender identities through media and Internet. 

We need true sisterhood which does not create lifestyle driven disparity and loyalties.

Gender Identity Development

One of the critical aspect of developing identity is Gender Identity

Although often used interchangeably, the terms "gender" and "sex" do not refer to the same thing. "Gender" refers a broad set of characteristic qualities that distinguish between masculinity and femininity and includes personal attributes, social roles, social customs, activities, and behaviours. Furthermore, the characteristic qualities associated with a particular gender vary over time, and across cultures. For instance, at one time it was not considered very feminine to play sports; however, in contemporary Western culture both men and women play sports with equal zeal. Unlike "gender,", the term "sex" is a constant across time and culture and refers to a biologic, chromosomal determination of being either male (XY) or female (XX). In simplest terms, sex is biological while gender is sociological.

During early to mid-adolescence, youths' understanding of gender is quite rigid and stereotyped. As a result, younger adolescents will typically participate in more gender-stereotyped behaviours than do older adolescents. This means that girls will gravitate toward more "girly" activities and present an ultra-feminine appearance, while guys will lean toward more "guy" activities and present an über-masculine appearance. There are a number of reasons for these gender-stereotyped behaviours.

LOVE & LOVE DAYS

Valentine’s Day is celebrated as a day of love and relations, remembrance of people who loved you in your life. What is love, it’s a feeling of being cared, attended or a feeling of being paid attention. When love starts you need lot of attention and approval from a person who is with you. The approval later becomes a mindset of a person where you attach yourself with in love. We loose everything to that person who becomes finally the controlling authority of our actions. The actions then change into authority. One becomes the authorised person who directs the actions of other. After some time everything entangles into a stage where love gets lost and control stays. We feel control is the only way to show your authority over other person. Also feel if there is no control, possession or if no attention given to us we feel lost. The love takes back seat it becomes the window that opens only once in a while to inhale fresh air. It is closed and opened based on the needs and requirements. Life becomes a place of possessing something holding onto something and wanting that to stay with you forever. You want various situations, events & actions to express your love to another person..In this world of wanting or not wanting is there a place for love to breathe? Love is free flowing. It is a part of you which never want to get restricted. It comes automatically without our conscious efforts but we always try to capture it with conscious actions. These actions are to please, control, posses, exhibit love. What if we drop out of love? What will happen? What if we remain calm, & first feel it with the connect with your lover, feel the strength of each other, feel the belonging with each other..which may happen when you are together or far from each other. The distance doesn’t matter. Think of a day when you sit and look within yourself, feel that you are losing your love, there is a feeling of not getting enough attention, a feeling of constant approval, a feeling of possessing it..If you are not into in these feelings with your lover means you are in love truly, you become love and love flows within you. The true lover stays with you for the flow, for being and not for what you do.

Then it becomes contagious and spreads all around you. 

Happy Loving Day

In Between being woman…I found this space

Suddenly you are boundless and hopeless. Does that mean hopes are diminishing? no way hopes are there but I am not struggling to full-fill demands through hopes. I take every moment as comes, feel the moment and leave it there from where it appeared in front of me..again ready to float into the vastness and wildness of the empty world.I see myself beautiful and radiant...a woman is radiant and beautiful..we have to empower ourselves from within..

In between being a woman there is a space that I found today..Its amazing place and does not allow us to hold on to anything and we float yet we are anchored. Two ends are always full of feelings and desires. We swing in between two for us or others. It leads us to attach and relate ourselves to something that consumes most of our time and space. when we leave these two ends we fall and its a free fall. Suddenly you find you are not falling but floating, nobody is trying to pull strings to take them to the either of the end. Its a empty place. we are into grinds of life so much that we have forgotten about such empty places. We love to be alone many a times but we fear to go there.

Life of a woman ....Read book Rekha..

I am not a feminist or anti men too. However as I was reading a book on Rekha written by Yassar Usman, I was saddened to see the cruelty and falsity of the society, norms and programming that makes society insensitive towards woman's desires, wants and freedom to live life. Rekha is just a story but there are many more such stories are hidden behind the life of many women like her. It's easy to tarnish woman's image. ignore her existence. However women like Rekha does not really care for the society and live on their terms. They look arrogant and feisty still they become Diva. Rekha started her life at 14 and was mother of her entire family. She was a Man of her family and Woman Diva of her glittering filmy world. She was bold, trend setter, fighter and emotional and sensitive person.

Ref:book Rekha by Yasser Usman, he has given bibliography from where he collected the data. I used it as a reference to showcase how many Rekhas like her are still living within us.

Fantastic view

A worldview, I am beautiful, liked by many, I agree and loved the way I am being perceived. I change my perception to accommodate their view and fit into the frame of wanted by all. It's an amazing journey to be liked and loved by all. A way of satisfaction and self esteem. There are times when I am not liked by many, I feel I am being shunned and thrown away by them, my progress has stopped as I am not being acknowledged for my worth. I get angry, cry, hate and finally sulk and say I don't care for the world. It's not what i wanted to live into. It creates turmoil and sometimes it creates paradise. I am lost and a stage comes nothing's seems good to me.

Those who love me look selfish, those who hate me look painful and those for whom I sacrificed my life feel one who have taken away the joy of my life.
This world view creates waves and I float in high and low...it injures me and sometimes I float.
Finally a stage and time comes when we want to stop riding on this wave. Absolutely go into the Center of the ocean, far from the shore. As you go inside the ocean you know there is nothing to hold on to survive. Only way is to see the water around you. Pristine view, nothing to hold on to except your own weight to float. You learn to balance yourself in the water. It's all your struggle to get to other side of yours that has fantastic view . This view doesn't belong to anyone or the worldview. Its more clear and focused. It is related to what you are made of and what you want to make out of yourself. There is no dichotomy in your vision and clarity of achieving it. It's a fantastic view but to get to this view you have to come to the Center of the ocean. As long as you are closer to the shore you will be looking at yourself with the worldview.

Currently both Genders are living with the worldview. Live with the fantastic view go far from the shore. Enjoy being in the Center of the ocean.

Radharani - Beauty in a woman

Shrimati Radharani is Lord shrikrishna's favourite amongst all Gopis and she the most loved and adored by him. She is not only beautiful but loving with qualities that one can not match. She is the perfect woman who is loved and desired by Lord Shrikrishna. In my sessions I always tell women that Gender identity is knowing about yourself fully and utilising your potentials to the fullest first. Reaction or response from opposite Gender doesn't matter when the Gender identity is complete within rather than outwardly oriented. I always looked at shrimati Radharani as a role model of a woman who is complete in herself. She is longing for Lord Shrikrishna still she is strong, beautiful, intelligent, artistically skilled and attractive woman and much more because of her own potentials and attributes.
Some of her attributes make her adorable and complete within

Sri Radhika is –

(1) Sweet – this means, in every situation Her expressions, movements and features are pleasurable.
(2) eternally adolescent
(3) Her side-long glances are highly restless
(4) bright smile
(5) She has beautiful symbols of fortune such as barley, discus etc. on Her palms and soles.
(6) She maddens Madhava with Her sweet aroma.
(7) She is the topmost expert in singing
(8) Her speech is highly attractive.
(9) well versed in the art of witty speech
(10) humble
(11) compassionate

Marriage and Gender

Marriage is the most beautiful union of two genders. They are integral part of universe's mechanism of keeping the cycle of life and death alive by creating family and bringing up another soul as their child. Biologically indeed its their child, otherwise a souls who has come here to perform his karma and move ahead. As the child becomes part of society and social community becomes completely accustomed to the customs and duties that are either taught to him/her or experienced during the process. This process becomes the critical part of building identity and image. The roles are defined and endorsed by families, peers, communities, close circles etc. The true essence of marriage ends and the process of fitting into the roles starts for the acceptance and acknowledgement.

A man and a woman play both roles of male and female during their journey of life. However predominantly man is the one who experiences the change and woman is a source and creative force who makes the change. The beauty of this deeper relationship makes them complimentary to each other. It could be in any relationship where two genders are involved. However, when this change is infused with the imbalance it goes into dominating, victimising, bullying, dogmatic thoughts, conformity and gets diluted into norms and fixed patterns. It brings confusion and loss of identity.

Gender and Patriarchal society

We are in a world where the Patriarchal way of thinking has dominating influence over our decision making, behaviour and ability to resolve issues.

Patriarchy is a social structural phenomenon in which males have the privilege of dominance over females, both visibly and subliminally. This phenomenon is manifested in the values, attitudes, customs, expectations, and institutions of the society, and it is maintained through the process of socialization. Females and children, along with any individuals with a nontraditional gender identity, suffer from subordination to men.

The term patriarchy comes from the Latin pater (father) and arch (rule). Historically, “rule of the father” was the more appropriate definition of patriarchy. Valentine Moghadam has written that under classic patriarchy, “the senior man has authority over everyone else in the family, including younger men, and women are subject to distinct forms of control and subordination” (2004, p. 141).

This is a social phenomenon that has created a Gender inequality flux which we are experiencing. Blaming one Gender is not the solution but the realisation of true nature of a Gender is the way out. The upbringing and ignorance has created the issues. The realisation is required in both Genders.

The role of Navarasas within Us-especially for women

Irrespective of Gender, love your emotions it's your strength to connect with the world around, it's a glue that binds us. Lack of emotion makes you isolated and lifeless. You can't go on and on with non emotional self. You are gifted with senses and feelings that are part of your make, if you are not going to use it, then it's incomplete job within and reflecting outside. There are Navarasas within us and We are made of them. There can't be a situation where only few Rasas are working and few are not working. Those Rasas are not used become acidic and those that are overused become useless. We have to balance all of them, embrace them and use them.

Wonder Woman and Thor

These are the archetype of a woman and a man. Wonder woman is taking her strength from compassion, love, emotions and her ability to feel the pain around. She is still emotional and sensitive about her approach. she says world doesn't deserved her at the same time she realises that she is not here because she is deserved by people but she believes in what she wants to do.

She is easy and open about expressing her emotions openly.

Thor is an archetype created as a strongest person ever, he has been exhibited as a hero and the one who is orchestrated and manipulated to serve somebody else's goals. He is too much engrossed into crafting his life for others than self. This subtle differences what make both strong in their areas as warriors.

We have to accept and acknowledge these strengths in each other to bring Gender Dignity.

Anklets of Alpha Woman

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love- by a famous author Suzanne Venker

There are number of occasions when people stop and admire my heavy anklets and colorful dresses or accessories. There are comments made on my being brightly dressed or every day dressed for the occasion...I feel being a woman its normal to dress up like this...as per the western theory we have created blocks to dress specifically and few colors. This kills the origin of feminine association with colors and energy derived from it which reflects in her expressions. We are seeing women and girls becoming more Men then women.

Alpha women aren’t exactly new, but they were once a rarer breed. Today they around. There are several reasons why, but it’s in large part due to women having been groomed to be leaders rather than to be someone's wives. That's defined as empowerment. In ancient time only those women who were not keen to be part of Sansar were excluded from the part of their education to perform role as a wife, mother and care taker of the family. Irrespective of her profession as Warrior, Scholar or Performer she had to go through this training. Simply put, today women have become too much like men. They’re too competitive. Too masculine. Too alpha.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to run with the equal pace with men, then they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies. Being feminine isn’t about being beautiful or svelte, or even about wearing high heels (although those things are nice). Being feminine is a state of mind. It’s an attitude. Its a being which doesn't clash but compliments or resonates. 

Two realities of Gender - Original Dangal Girls and Manushi Chillar Miss World 2017

One original Dangal girls daughters of Mahavir Phoghat from Haryana and Manushi Chillar from Haryana.

If you observe Mr. Phoghat brought up his daughters like boys made their masculine part more stronger and allowed it to utilise to learn skills. However it didn't stop Phoghat girls feminine to emerge when they wanted to apply nail polish and dance during a wedding. 

Whereas Manushi was brought up with complete freedom to follow her artistic side and desire to be a doctor. Her feminine side and artistic side didn't influence her love for medical career.
One set of girls worked on masculine another girl worked on feminine. When both sides of Gender qualities were brought out as highest potential there were outstanding results. That too from a place where we talk about Gender inequality. It shows that when feminine and masculine is used as potential to harness the skills rather than just role we see person prospering.

Gender Neutrality - Tears of Men

There are number of social advertisements released /published through various media sources for Men to become emotional or shedding tears. It's true women cry more than men because that's the way they express their emotions. Women keep generating energy that finds its way out by way of being creative, loving, giving, nurturing, crying and talking etc.

I will never recommend Men to be like women and women to be like men then we are breaking the natural chain of evolution. However, I would only say that tears are important to shed for healthy life.
There are three types of tears. Psychic tears (Happiness & Sadness) are caused by extreme emotions. Basal Tears are made to keep the cornea lubricated. Reflex tears (Onion, tear gas) come out in response to something else. 

Emotional tears are the one which release toxins, stress and unwanted pain from body. It's a healthy ways of keeping yourself toxin free. Irrespective of Gender orientation tears have to be considered as god's creation made to stay cleansed and healed. Its important that a Man shouldn't shed tears because women are doing but do it for the scientific and medical reasons to keep your body free of toxins and stress hormones. The Menstrual cycle keeps women rejuvenated every month but that doesn't happen with men so they have a tendency of accumulating more stress and toxins in body. This expression allows them to heal mind and body.

Sexual Harassement before and after - Whats happening with the real cases?

Real Cases are not resolved yet

Prevention of sexual harassment has been a key word now days. Everyone is looking at supporting women and resolving their issues. I have been also part of this band wagon to teach Gender Neutrality as a solution and to create awareness. A wholistic view by being a POSH Consultant.

Incidentally, in the past two years I met few real POSH cases who are struggling and fighting in the court to get justice They have already lost their jobs. Other companies are not interested in touching them, the companies where they had an issue the culprit has already purchased their lawyer. The court is not giving them the dates. Media is not giving them them importance. The real real support thats not coming. Me too created a wave and now that day saw Men Too. We are not yet in control of issues faced by women. What's planned is not working out.  Everyone is shouting on the top of their voice about Empowerment and  believe me it does not exist. Those women who have decided to keep quiet. Close the matter and shifted their focus on day to day life they are living without any trouble. It may not be their choice.

Where are we going? getting dragged into name, fame and money? I came across women who were working for the government organisations or working as Director, VPs and Sr. level professionals are giving up. In court cases are still going on for months and years together. Imagine rape cases are dragged for years what about POSH ?  they are considered as last choice. In that we are talking about only 30% reported cases. Another story many companies are avoiding to comply with this act (Prevention of Sexual Harassment) . There is in general reluctancy in implementing this policy. It is not a criminal law but only if its proved it can go under the criminal proceedings. This is a law created to make better society. However there is in general fear about it. everyone is scared  for what? companies are told to get scared by saying they may face issues or cases or retaliation of legal nature and image related issues. Imagine we are implementing this act with so much of negativity and fear. how will we be able to ever see that this compliance is giving us culture of Dignity and freedom. That is what the article 14 and 15 all about in Human rights.

Why so much about women

In my 26 years of journey of life which can be less than many of you have gone through still I have noticed women recognise their potential when they are pushed over the edge. The real strength is possessed by them to create and recreate everything including destroy that's not good for them or their loved ones. The patriarchy which actually is not bad as per my research but has undergone so much of change in the past 1000 + years that the definition of a Man has changed hence they have made women believe either they are nobody or if somebody then the clones of men in a woman format. The true essence and attributes of women are diminishing.
the true attributes are more stronger and balanced than adapting the masculine way of leading.

The cosmic changes are making women across the world realise their potential and social changes are creating opportunities to use them. The combination of these two will work towards progress of a woman.

Only social change is not enough to empower self or only realisation of the deep awareness is not enough. The balance of both is required.

Rajashri Rajashekhar
Gender Neutrality Researcher
Gender Matrix Consulting