Talk Show- Harnessing the Power of Gender Neutrality

Episode 2: Defining Sacrifices Beyond Gender

"She" Netflix movie, Woman's Discovery

She, the Netflix movie by Imtiyaz Ali

The name caught my attention and I thought of watching the episodes

The character portrayed in the movie is of a woman with different forms and roles that she is forced to exhibit based on the situation. The difference is in her ability to discover various facets of life and those who can’t was her compulsions.

Many women discover themselves the life’s situations force them. It becomes a newer way of life.

There is a woman

There is committed police staff

There is a simple girl who has gone through child abuse

There is a revengeful side of her for the life that she is forced to live in a myopic society

There is a desire to have sex yet confused about it

Discovering her sexuality beyond forceful experience

This movie brings out another dimension of every woman having the simplicity to sensuality. Most of the time, especially countries like India, It is denied due to social & cultural norms of perception of a woman, categorised based on the exterior appearance etc. In some women, it Is shunned by herself because of life's negative experiences that are unassuming and culturally suppressed.

She as a movie brigs out many ways in which a woman is trying to explore her own self. Typical syndrome of a woman working in the price department but prefers to work behind the desk. Today also many police stations women either are working behind the desk or they are provided with those responsibilities.

However, as the plot gets more intense and a woman is cornered the real self comes out. Recognition and inner fight with the self-image while comparing with her sister comes out. As the fight ends she finds the answer and before that the answers are provided by everyone else except her. The journey of her finding the answer is tough yet adventures.

Tribhaga Movie-Choices women make

Tribhanga, the latest movie by By Renuka Shahane. If you remember Renuka Shahane has been a very well known person for some qualitative TV programmes, roles of substance and quality storylines. Looking at the cast of the movie, written by Renuka Shahane attracted me to watch the movie to understand what message Renuka Shahane wants to give out. Tribhanga is a story of three women from different generations, mother, daughter and granddaughter.

Each is depicted with different life journey and their responses and reactions to the challenges faced by them. Each of them was right in their own way yet it stirred life of the next generation. Nayan, Mother the passionate writer wants to dedicate her life for writing. She rebels against the traditional family structure and leaves to find her calling along with her two children. That was her response to life and her choices.

Nayan’s choices and decision affect daughter Anurdha’s life including the sexual molestation and domestic violence she experiences at a young age. She rebels to define her life’s journey & becomes a different person. An accomplished dancer and actor. In personal life an abrasive woman, living life on her terms.

Anuradha’s choices and decisions of living life on her terms stir the life of granddaughter of Nayan and daughter of Anuradha. The granddaughter Masha makes a choice of finding a family of the patriarchal model. Full family, caring, protection, elderly controlling the life of youngsters, traditions, rituals etc.

Anuradha brings up her daughter with a lot of care & protection. Masha makes choices exactly opposite to the choices made by mother and grandmother and she has her own reasons why she made those choices. She also has her own reasons where she blames her mother for the life she went through when she was small.

Each woman responds to life as per her experiences and her ability to get out of it, have different experiences which make her believe in her life and comforts her. I appreciate the depth of the thought process of Ranuka ji, there is nothing right and wrong there is nothing bad or good. I think the time has come for women to choose their family type. Some women would prefer the patriarchal family, for protection & care, some women would prefer to live life without a socially defined relationship with a man like the matriarchal family. Some women may just decide to pursue their own passion and profession for what they believe is the only way to fulfil their life.

This gives a bigger perspective on the futuristic society where men and woman will have their own choices to live their life without getting entangled into social pressure. This also brings a change in society to accept and embrace their choices so that they are able to live for what they believe is their right to live with happiness and dignity.

Overrated professionalism

The most overrated concept of men and women being strong with inner strength and happiness is directly linked to the exterior part of their life. Person’s job, related success, skills and ability to survive in a work environment is not the parameter to conclude his/her success in life. There are many men and women behind the cover of their professional attire suffering from humiliation, victims of either getting attacked or attacking others to bleed them. The work and work-related success mostly is a way of escaping from such life. The success on the job, being workaholic and wearing some other mask is a mechanism to counter the life's challenges that are not being able to resolve. At times it’s labelled and concluded especially amongst the educated world, how an educated and professionally successful person can not handle the situation in personal life? will this person be able to execute job well? That’s the biggest mistake we do when we judge people based on what they achieve in office. We ignore them. Every successful person and skilled person can also be suffering from depression, anxiety, fear and lack of understanding of life. That needs some kind of attention and help but one is not able to take such help or support because of t
he image he/she carries within the organisation. They have to put up with the same drama for the sake of people around, job security, fear of losing the position or peer acceptance. This is a never-ending vicious circle for them. As a Foundation, we come across many of such people who are caught up in such cross identity issues. They are Managers, HODs, Entrepreneurs, Police Officers, Women Executives etc. superficially it looks they are suffering from some kind of issues in life but when we see the deep down we experience that they are suffering from the crisis of life. childhood trauma, loneliness, lack of love, the burden of life's challenges, facing the issues of their own expectations from life, unable to balance the personal and professional world, caught up in relationship issues, unable to live life with freedom and more. Many a time these are phases of life which corner them to be what they are in their personal life. Society, Corporates and organisations have to look at them with compassion and care. Everyone needs dialogue and a hand to come back, bounce back or to face the reality so someone can help them with a mirror. We always tell our clients that don't assume a person based on his/her professional success and if you get a person who is successful in the job yet unsuccessful in personal life, need help and support then with a high level of confidentiality and dignity. Help a person come out of the crisis without him/her feeling fear of loss of identity, job, image or prospects. We also tell the concerned person to separate professional image and attached pride and accept that you are another human being who can suffer from the blows of life and need help. You can not be a winner all over sometimes you need someone to guide you in spite of you being theoretically knowledgeable about it. When reality is faced by anyone its difficult to translate theory and information into practice. It needs a lot of patience with self and daily routine. you need someone to constantly have a dialogue with you. We tell organisations to create such dialogue champions or outsource where they can speak up confidentially. Let there not be any person lonely inside and successful outside. Like Employee support program please create Executive Support Program. Need not be published in the organisation but shared as information to any new/Existing executive to know where to turn when there is an internal conflict. Poornam Foundation has been working on these areas since 2012. While working with police and during the research, we stumbled upon such cases to realise that top 20% of the society suffering different way then the middle 60% of the society then the bottom 20% of the society. 

The Women Harassement view - Women Only

Women harassment is not limited to particular section of the society or mindsets but it can happen from anyone and from anybody. There are men involved in the harassment are men from lower category, men who are in to a position of Head of the department or CEOs, men who are spiritual Gurus and men who have been a protector once upon a time.  It makes me believe is there a specific pattern or type in which we can frame a harasser but every time the answer comes no.  In my so many years of experience of managing the DV cases, Harassement cases or women in Distress, being a Gender Researcher, I Have noticed that every case has different reasons and triggers. If one was with vulnerability, then second is with needs, third with ignorance, fourth was with hopes, fifth with emotional instability, sixth is due to lack of self respect and many more so it reveals that every woman goes through harassment with different triggers however the reason for a man to harass a woman is majorly if his ego is hurt or his lust. Man doesn't have many reasons to harass a woman. If its frustration and bodily need its rape, rape with mutual consent. Harassment when a woman is looked as an object either beautiful and desirable to be used and ugly or not wanted when the same woman is not fitting into the demands or frame of such men.
Many men have various images of women how they should be and what should they be doing without considering woman's choice. This is a cultural issue with us. Women get pulled into such acts of men because of their versatility and wanting to be connected with people. The relationship building, compassion, vulnerability, creativity etc. makes a woman emotional which if not managed properly are used by men who are predators for their purpose. Its not about men but about women and how with awareness they are able to manage their emotional journey in every stage of life. 

Interesting Dialogues..Your Anklets

I was in a training and one male participant just asked me why should woman wear an anklets ? why not come to office without any accessories? Its distracting. When a woman walks around it makes sound and it takes away the focus. We come here to work and not to hear the noise while she is walking. I was just observing his irritation and how much annoyed he was with the entire episode.

I said did you tell her? He said yes I told her but she started crying. She also told me that I am looking at her feet. I smiled and said yes she will cry and feel bad naturally. The anklets are part of regular attire, part of her being associated with something auspicious especially in our country. Scientifically its proven that Indian accessories of women are designed to give various health benefits.

A scientific reason given for wearing anklets is that by wearing the anklets, one's energy is not wasted but re-vibrated back to one's own body. Also, since the woman wears a lot of gold jewellery in any Hindu religion, a lot of electrical currents are produced in the body. To counter these currents and to keep the positive energy flowing in the body, the practice of wearing Silver anklets was established.

The sensitivities of understanding and accepting opposite Gender especially in the Indian context is very much important. We are from different backgrounds, cultures, values, and our upbringing is completely depend on the traditional age old ways of living life passed on to us. The Gender sensitivity is observed in day to life and in smaller interactions. It's not about bigger stories.  

Courtesan and Wife or Public woman and Domestic woman

I was in a meeting and someone just told me, now days women are freely moving around, working, taking up jobs, independent and are financially self sufficient. Do you think that is the reason why many extra marital affairs have increased? And I was in a shock state not knowing what to say.

This person is attaching the extra marital affair with the woman's freedom to wok. The society hasn't changed, it's the same but only new lifestyle has come. I was trying to relate his statement to what he must have learnt in his growing age.

Its an indication of him learning that women who sit at home are good women and in control and women who go out are not so good and not in control. In my research I traced back the history of women in India from 1700 BC but beyond vedic references.

During those days in the society the Public Women and Domestic Women were different . The public women were the keepers of Art, Culture and Religion whereas domestic women were the keepers of Family, Lineage and children. The Law of Manu reveals the basis of domestic woman's stature in a male-dominated society: "He who carefully guards his wife, preserves (the purity of) his offspring, virtuous conduct, his family, himself, and his (means of acquiring) merit"(dharma)!

Whereas the public woman was supported by the elites of .the society and the government as integral and important part of the social structure. However, most respected and supported were the Ganika.

In our history specific San- skrit terms were used to highlight distinctions between these women. 
The exceptionally civilized public woman, proficient in arts and endowed with winsome qualities, is called a ganikd. 
A Vesya or specifically a woman called a Rupafivd, is a prostitute, ranked below the ganikd, whose artistic talents she does not possess. A very low- grade prostitute (a "whore") is a Pumscali, and a prostitute who is a slave is Dasi, such as a kumbhaddsi, a "pots-and-pans" prostitute consigned to the most menial of tasks. A temple dancer, or religious courtesan, is called a devaddsi.

This indicates that women in public were used for the sexual gratification, those were educated lot with expertise in various skills, remember the movie Utsav in which Rekha acted. So there was a general division of women from Public and women from House, The public one are unchaste and one from the house are chaste by the protection of the Man which considers the protection of the offsprings and lineages. However, this structure changed in colonial and post colonial era and the respect of Public women disappeared. Their glory went away. Also women from Home too became worse due to having a limited role with lack of education right from the start.

The society today has changed and the same woman can be public woman and a house woman. Man wants her to fulfill both the roles effectively, yet he is not able to accept her fully. However, the choice of a woman is bigger than what man wants from her is the need of an hour. today.
The potential and capacity of a woman with her ability to be a keeper of Art, Culture, Religion, House, Family, Lineage and offsprings is unthinkable. Today many women are doing it but I think this age old perception of inside and outside woman is still creating a damage for the choices she is making for herself. The question is who designed PUBLIC AND DOMESTIC WOMEN categories? by binding them into some role that's being then supported by the men in power. The power is taken over by women today, yes when power comes the responsibility too increases. Those are the dynamics of power.

Men have to accept women as they are and allow the freedom and choices they are making for themselves. The debate is not about whether that society was good or this ? its about women were out into the role that was beneficial for the society. Today also everyone is talking about the same.

Male birds are beautiful then Female birds...

 There is something very unique in the world of birds. Male birds are beautiful, they are able to bring out beauty by way of showing off their colours, dance, beautiful sounds they make and keep doing this for long. All this for what for a female bird who is not as beautiful as them. However it s an effort to win over her. In the world of bird species or non bird species the fights and wars and possessions have been over the female species. There are two ways the male can conquer a woman one by way of fighting for her or wooing her. This brings out a very good analogy in the typical world of male and female world then those who are not fighting for the woman or not wooing that female then what are they doing ? Look at the world today there are hardly any opportunities to fight for the women. We are no more warriors. We have designated warriors who fight for the territory we call them armed forces or men in uniform. Then there are men inside the territory who are looking mixing around with women and are beautiful and charming like a Male birds but they have nothing to wooo about because the society has been created in such a way that female are supposed to meet males at certain age and make family. The only thing then that remains for them is to choose the female. Here the difference is that the females are chosen by the looks and beauty first, then the worth education culture family and status and then if nothing is possible then go for anything that connects you.
The quality of a man to achieve and conquer has lost. There are less challenges and opportunities. The white collar man thinks he is working, earning and socialising is the way he is conquering. It's not conquering but living in a world which is already stabilized.


Yet the primary desire to achieve and conquer doesn't go away then it gets transferred into various acts that are risky, violence, Inflated ego , unreasonable demands and illusionary macho man image formation . There is a continuous studies going on on this subject across all fields of human psychology. It's difficult for a man to keep his status compared to woman. There is not much has changed for a woman except addition in her work but for a man it is the same and challenges to fit into the social framework which is changing and confusing is difficult. There is a requirement of lot of awareness and education around the fluctuating social identity.

Why don't you flow ....its your nature

One can flow within and outside. In the connectedness of surroundings with awareness when flowing happens it brings joy. This joy is of knowing and accepting everything. Good & Bad, Beautiful & Ugly, Sad & Happy & so on.. nothing matters except temporary expressions arising out of it with knowing the vastness of being into it. Life looks more like an engagement while you are flowing..you are everyday engaging yourself into something knowingly but you are not attached to it. As you are flowing your engagement and events associated to it are taking place in its own rhythm and space. This flow guides your engagements, drive your events and makes you feel you are bigger than them. Everything is changing coming and going but you are flowing…there is stillness in your flow because you are connected to the bigger space, universe, nature, inconsistency, your own vibrations, experiences…. it’s a parallel force that flows within you..

Feminine Wisdom -Flow of Energy

Feminine Wisdom is nothing more than listening to our inner voice, be ye man or woman. The Goddess energy is very powerful now and it is time that we utilize this energy to improve our lives. Everyone (this includes men) is comprised of male and female energy and until balance is achieved, one side will dominate. Male energy is on the right side of our bodies and is represented by the sun. It is electric, active, and giving. Female energy is on our left side and is represented by the moon. It is magnetic, receptive, and creative. Concepts or ideas are conceived on the female side and brought to fruition - into the physical world - by our male side.

The Goddess energy has been suppressed on this planet for eons. Over time women have been treated as property, second class citizens and have been abused physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Gloria Stienman's push for equality of the sexes has propelled women forward in the work place, politically, and allowed for women to experience greater freedom in general but a disservice was also done. Some women who chose to stay home and raise their family felt inept because they were not contributing to society. Women burned bras, wore pants, became workaholics, all to prove that they were as worthy as men. In reality what happened is that many women embraced their male energy while suppressing their female energy.

Women used to outlive men by eight years because men had the "stressful jobs" but now we have almost caught up because stress-related disorders are on the rise for women. Wow, we really showed them didn't we? I have been watching the Goddess energy awaken and have found it very fascinating. "New age" and the secular world have begun to develop and facilitate classes, workshops, support groups all for women. Women over 40, women who have been abused, women who have an eating disorder, women who are indigent and the list goes on and on. I am not against the support that is being given, I just feel that we missed the bigger picture and I would call that picture Feminine Wisdom.

Feminine Wisdom is the allowing of the feminine energy to flow freely through our being and to be expressed in whatever manner it chooses. This means that men and women should be permitted to base decisions on intuition alone. Individuals who have jobs that require them to make quick decisions often go by what their "gut" tells them because sometimes you can not have all of the facts - they are using their intuition. I feel that intuition should be used and accepted in the workplace.

Feminine Wisdom to me also encompasses compassion, empathy and nurturing qualities. These are traits that men and women both share. Unfortunately our male energy has a way of making these qualities seem unimportant. Most work environments do not support the feminine energy, but the time has come for that to change. I believe that when we all embrace the Goddess within, our entire world will transform for the better. I know so many women and men who have embraced their feminine side and I admire each of them.

The world admired Princess Di and Mother Theresa - why? For the very qualities I listed above. They embodied their female side and allowed the energy to flow out of their male side to accomplish world work. People to this day toss flowers on memorials to Princess Di and shrines have been built, but this is not using wisdom. What should be done is the continuance of Di's and Mother Theresa's work with the poor, homeless and afflicted. Workshops and classes need to be directed to both men and women. People need to learn that embracing one's feminine side does not make one a wimp or weakling. Our feminine side is very strong - this is how the Goddess has been able to tolerate the neglect she has received for the last few centuries.

Our world requires change if it is going to survive. I am talking about the planet herself and also mankind. The destitute conditions of our planet and our intolerance of one another are sure signs that the time has arrived for each of use to embrace our Goddess within.

SYNTHETIC SISTERHOOD

Women and feminine aspect, by nature is collaborative, inclusive and connected. Sisterhood is about being together for each other. However, consumer world has created this Synthetic Sisterhood that has influenced not only our Gender identity but our collective outlook. The Industry has created this consumer based sisterhood where men and women are identifying themselves with xyz clan because of the products they are using. This is nowhere related to the political, social and economical persspectieve. On top of that now days there is a focus on Male emotions. Products are promoting emotional man and Power Woman. This is again crating a new wave of disparity between two genders and two aspects as male and female within that are complimentity to each other. The change is required to discover originality of each gender. However the lifestyle driven and consumerism driven society is influencing our minds and relation with self. Children are exposed to such consumer based Gender identities through media and Internet. 

We need true sisterhood which does not create lifestyle driven disparity and loyalties.

Gender Identity Development

One of the critical aspect of developing identity is Gender Identity

Although often used interchangeably, the terms "gender" and "sex" do not refer to the same thing. "Gender" refers a broad set of characteristic qualities that distinguish between masculinity and femininity and includes personal attributes, social roles, social customs, activities, and behaviours. Furthermore, the characteristic qualities associated with a particular gender vary over time, and across cultures. For instance, at one time it was not considered very feminine to play sports; however, in contemporary Western culture both men and women play sports with equal zeal. Unlike "gender,", the term "sex" is a constant across time and culture and refers to a biologic, chromosomal determination of being either male (XY) or female (XX). In simplest terms, sex is biological while gender is sociological.

During early to mid-adolescence, youths' understanding of gender is quite rigid and stereotyped. As a result, younger adolescents will typically participate in more gender-stereotyped behaviours than do older adolescents. This means that girls will gravitate toward more "girly" activities and present an ultra-feminine appearance, while guys will lean toward more "guy" activities and present an über-masculine appearance. There are a number of reasons for these gender-stereotyped behaviours.

LOVE & LOVE DAYS

Valentine’s Day is celebrated as a day of love and relations, remembrance of people who loved you in your life. What is love, it’s a feeling of being cared, attended or a feeling of being paid attention. When love starts you need lot of attention and approval from a person who is with you. The approval later becomes a mindset of a person where you attach yourself with in love. We loose everything to that person who becomes finally the controlling authority of our actions. The actions then change into authority. One becomes the authorised person who directs the actions of other. After some time everything entangles into a stage where love gets lost and control stays. We feel control is the only way to show your authority over other person. Also feel if there is no control, possession or if no attention given to us we feel lost. The love takes back seat it becomes the window that opens only once in a while to inhale fresh air. It is closed and opened based on the needs and requirements. Life becomes a place of possessing something holding onto something and wanting that to stay with you forever. You want various situations, events & actions to express your love to another person..In this world of wanting or not wanting is there a place for love to breathe? Love is free flowing. It is a part of you which never want to get restricted. It comes automatically without our conscious efforts but we always try to capture it with conscious actions. These actions are to please, control, posses, exhibit love. What if we drop out of love? What will happen? What if we remain calm, & first feel it with the connect with your lover, feel the strength of each other, feel the belonging with each other..which may happen when you are together or far from each other. The distance doesn’t matter. Think of a day when you sit and look within yourself, feel that you are losing your love, there is a feeling of not getting enough attention, a feeling of constant approval, a feeling of possessing it..If you are not into in these feelings with your lover means you are in love truly, you become love and love flows within you. The true lover stays with you for the flow, for being and not for what you do.

Then it becomes contagious and spreads all around you. 

Happy Loving Day

In Between being woman…I found this space

Suddenly you are boundless and hopeless. Does that mean hopes are diminishing? no way hopes are there but I am not struggling to full-fill demands through hopes. I take every moment as comes, feel the moment and leave it there from where it appeared in front of me..again ready to float into the vastness and wildness of the empty world.I see myself beautiful and radiant...a woman is radiant and beautiful..we have to empower ourselves from within..

In between being a woman there is a space that I found today..Its amazing place and does not allow us to hold on to anything and we float yet we are anchored. Two ends are always full of feelings and desires. We swing in between two for us or others. It leads us to attach and relate ourselves to something that consumes most of our time and space. when we leave these two ends we fall and its a free fall. Suddenly you find you are not falling but floating, nobody is trying to pull strings to take them to the either of the end. Its a empty place. we are into grinds of life so much that we have forgotten about such empty places. We love to be alone many a times but we fear to go there.

Life of a woman ....Read book Rekha..

I am not a feminist or anti men too. However as I was reading a book on Rekha written by Yassar Usman, I was saddened to see the cruelty and falsity of the society, norms and programming that makes society insensitive towards woman's desires, wants and freedom to live life. Rekha is just a story but there are many more such stories are hidden behind the life of many women like her. It's easy to tarnish woman's image. ignore her existence. However women like Rekha does not really care for the society and live on their terms. They look arrogant and feisty still they become Diva. Rekha started her life at 14 and was mother of her entire family. She was a Man of her family and Woman Diva of her glittering filmy world. She was bold, trend setter, fighter and emotional and sensitive person.

Ref:book Rekha by Yasser Usman, he has given bibliography from where he collected the data. I used it as a reference to showcase how many Rekhas like her are still living within us.

Fantastic view

A worldview, I am beautiful, liked by many, I agree and loved the way I am being perceived. I change my perception to accommodate their view and fit into the frame of wanted by all. It's an amazing journey to be liked and loved by all. A way of satisfaction and self esteem. There are times when I am not liked by many, I feel I am being shunned and thrown away by them, my progress has stopped as I am not being acknowledged for my worth. I get angry, cry, hate and finally sulk and say I don't care for the world. It's not what i wanted to live into. It creates turmoil and sometimes it creates paradise. I am lost and a stage comes nothing's seems good to me.

Those who love me look selfish, those who hate me look painful and those for whom I sacrificed my life feel one who have taken away the joy of my life.
This world view creates waves and I float in high and low...it injures me and sometimes I float.
Finally a stage and time comes when we want to stop riding on this wave. Absolutely go into the Center of the ocean, far from the shore. As you go inside the ocean you know there is nothing to hold on to survive. Only way is to see the water around you. Pristine view, nothing to hold on to except your own weight to float. You learn to balance yourself in the water. It's all your struggle to get to other side of yours that has fantastic view . This view doesn't belong to anyone or the worldview. Its more clear and focused. It is related to what you are made of and what you want to make out of yourself. There is no dichotomy in your vision and clarity of achieving it. It's a fantastic view but to get to this view you have to come to the Center of the ocean. As long as you are closer to the shore you will be looking at yourself with the worldview.

Currently both Genders are living with the worldview. Live with the fantastic view go far from the shore. Enjoy being in the Center of the ocean.

Radharani - Beauty in a woman

Shrimati Radharani is Lord shrikrishna's favourite amongst all Gopis and she the most loved and adored by him. She is not only beautiful but loving with qualities that one can not match. She is the perfect woman who is loved and desired by Lord Shrikrishna. In my sessions I always tell women that Gender identity is knowing about yourself fully and utilising your potentials to the fullest first. Reaction or response from opposite Gender doesn't matter when the Gender identity is complete within rather than outwardly oriented. I always looked at shrimati Radharani as a role model of a woman who is complete in herself. She is longing for Lord Shrikrishna still she is strong, beautiful, intelligent, artistically skilled and attractive woman and much more because of her own potentials and attributes.
Some of her attributes make her adorable and complete within

Sri Radhika is –

(1) Sweet – this means, in every situation Her expressions, movements and features are pleasurable.
(2) eternally adolescent
(3) Her side-long glances are highly restless
(4) bright smile
(5) She has beautiful symbols of fortune such as barley, discus etc. on Her palms and soles.
(6) She maddens Madhava with Her sweet aroma.
(7) She is the topmost expert in singing
(8) Her speech is highly attractive.
(9) well versed in the art of witty speech
(10) humble
(11) compassionate

Marriage and Gender

Marriage is the most beautiful union of two genders. They are integral part of universe's mechanism of keeping the cycle of life and death alive by creating family and bringing up another soul as their child. Biologically indeed its their child, otherwise a souls who has come here to perform his karma and move ahead. As the child becomes part of society and social community becomes completely accustomed to the customs and duties that are either taught to him/her or experienced during the process. This process becomes the critical part of building identity and image. The roles are defined and endorsed by families, peers, communities, close circles etc. The true essence of marriage ends and the process of fitting into the roles starts for the acceptance and acknowledgement.

A man and a woman play both roles of male and female during their journey of life. However predominantly man is the one who experiences the change and woman is a source and creative force who makes the change. The beauty of this deeper relationship makes them complimentary to each other. It could be in any relationship where two genders are involved. However, when this change is infused with the imbalance it goes into dominating, victimising, bullying, dogmatic thoughts, conformity and gets diluted into norms and fixed patterns. It brings confusion and loss of identity.

Gender and Patriarchal society

We are in a world where the Patriarchal way of thinking has dominating influence over our decision making, behaviour and ability to resolve issues.

Patriarchy is a social structural phenomenon in which males have the privilege of dominance over females, both visibly and subliminally. This phenomenon is manifested in the values, attitudes, customs, expectations, and institutions of the society, and it is maintained through the process of socialization. Females and children, along with any individuals with a nontraditional gender identity, suffer from subordination to men.

The term patriarchy comes from the Latin pater (father) and arch (rule). Historically, “rule of the father” was the more appropriate definition of patriarchy. Valentine Moghadam has written that under classic patriarchy, “the senior man has authority over everyone else in the family, including younger men, and women are subject to distinct forms of control and subordination” (2004, p. 141).

This is a social phenomenon that has created a Gender inequality flux which we are experiencing. Blaming one Gender is not the solution but the realisation of true nature of a Gender is the way out. The upbringing and ignorance has created the issues. The realisation is required in both Genders.